Dank Meme War 2016 Daily Update March 28th
See below for the report from the field from Keith McCracken, the official field correspondent for the fighting. We will be providing his in depth coverage of each day’s battles.
Fighting has exploded all through out Facebookistan. The Untied Status Marin Crops forces has shifted it’s fighting efforts on Awesome Shit My Drill Sergeant Said.
After a week of heavy-fighting between Terminal Lance and Marin Crops, Marin Crops appears to have enough dank memes to last an entire decade of fighting across Facebookistan and their campaign shows no sign of slowing down.
“Marin Crops is on a roll. Their 2010 dank meems and photoshop skills that of a hormonal teenager have pretty much encompassed the veteran provinces of Facebookistan.” A Terminal Lance supporter showed us. “It seems like they are being funded by 9Gag and 4chan, two of the most wanted terrorist groups on the internet. We have no way of showing this funding as it is just mere suspicion, but we do warn any other veteran pages to tighten up security…because you will be meme’d on.”
ASMDSS is the latest military force to get involved in the fighting. We called to ask how they plan to fight off the dank memes between the ‘I’ll take shit that never happened for 500, Alex’ comments of fans; and all we got in return was incomprehensible yelling. However, the fighting shows no sign of letting up and the UN is now holding a conference to deal with the fighting. It looks like we’re in for the long haul on this one.
“It’s almost we’ve taken a trip back in time. Heavy fighting is occurring in the jungles. Guerrilla fighters are doing their best to hold off Marin Crops, but they apparently haven’t learned anything well since Vietnam. When confronted with this new style of warfare, both Marin Crops and ASMDSS gave us incomprehensible language based off of the 2010 meme speak and the usual yelling we have always been getting. We interviewed an orangutang about the fighting and got just that…incomprehensible yelling. Seems like both sides might catch more malaria before their memes run out. Sources say that it might be a possibility as Marin’s original strategy didn’t include jungle fighting.
I’m keith McCracken, NotNBC news.”