User Story #3273

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So my older brother is one of the only reasons I decided to enlist in the military. He served for 9 years before becoming KIA in Afghanistan. My brother was not one to f*ck with, standing know at 6’7″ upwards of 250 at the time of his basic training. He fought in sadr city and all over Iraq and Afghanistan over the years, and till the day he died his favorite story to tell was one of him in basic. So out of respect for my brother and for the shear reason I know he’d want me to share it. Here it is.

My brother enlisted in 2002 and was sent to ft sill. The first week there the drills were constantly mind f*cking and intimidating the soldiers as any good DS would knowing these troops are for sure going to war. My brother was not easy to hide within the formation nor did he have the mentality to. So one day one of the 3 drills for his platoon was assigning positions and assigned my brother Guidon bearer for the platoon. The DS claimed we needed a big mother f*cker upfront to lead the way for our platoon. My brother as humble as he is took the position with pride and honor, without saying a word walked up and snatched the guidon from the pvt that had it.

So the next day DS K comes to work maybe standing in at 5’3″ we can be nice and say 5’4″ 160lbs and notices my brother upfront at parade rest with the guidon for morning formation. DS K was not happy and immediately expressed it, running up to my brother and standing at about crotch level and screaming at him “no f*cking way pfc s, no way is this happening give up that guidon now pfc s TIME NOW” . My brother never broke his position nor did he even look down to acknowledge the DS. This infuriated the ds even further to the point he screamed “damnit pfc s if you don’t give that guidon up in the next minute I will punch your dick until your asshole bleeds”.

Now the DS’s chin just about crotch level, and the DS being maybe an inch away from him, my brother decides while maintaining parade rest leans forward slightly to make his crotch ever so gently touch the DS’s chin. The DS in complete disbelief runs to the company building, 15 min goes by and the original DS who appointed him the position comes walking outside in a furry. Storms up to my brother and whispers “was he trying to make you give that guidon up S” “yes DS” “did you touch your crotch to his chin PFC S” “yes ds” ……. The DS starts bursting out in laughter “well g** damn pfc s that’s why I picked you, don’t let anyone take that guidon from you” and whispers in his ear “don’t take sh*t from anyone” pats him on the back grasps the back of his neck and screams Hoah pfc s.

Come to find out later that cycle no body from the CO down liked DS K, some of the ds made claims he was just the type of person that cries when things don’t go his way, he was known for throwing temper tantrums, and trying to throw other DS’s under the bus for stupid sh*t. Just an all around blue Falcon. I still have the letter he wrote home that week saying “I shoved my crotch in a” bitch DS face”. Now my brother respected and followed the lead of all his DS except DS K. DS K would yell at the Barracks as a whole walking down the line and skip my brother, never looked at him again. Still to this day I’m almost 150% certain my brother is the only private to punk out a DS and get away with it.

That’s also back when the army was gearing up for war, if that happened now a days my brother would be booted out only after having to complete online courses and classes on sensitivity and the feelings of others. His nicknames since the incident were dick punch, and guidon. So R.I.P. to my brother the biggest dick punch I’ll ever know and a damn good war fighter at that.

Thank you for reading.

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