User Story #3730

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February 2014, I am a 24 year old E3 in basic training at Fort Leonardwood. I had previously attended ROTC at a military college and was deathly afraid of my Drill Sargeants finding out. It was bad enough that my last name is pronounced “koo-Chie”, I did not want to give them any more reason to single me out. I was well prepared for basic training, most of my friends had been through it and I was physically fit and understood the necessary “game” that DS’s would play to turn me into a soldier. From the start of basic I tried to do things right, I sounded off, I moved with intensity, I was genuinely grateful to have the opportunity to become a soldier and I trained like it. The DS’s gave me a wide berth and singled out some of the less motivated trainees.

One day we were tasked with a battle rush drill across an open field. We looked like complete crap, no communication, no coordination. I remembered “bounding” from my days at the military school and quickly explained the concept and had my team execute it. We got across the field and stand up and turn around to receive our critique and both of my DS’s are right on top of me, neither of them saying a word but both of them staring at me intensely like I just cursed their mother.

Major League Infidel

“PVT KOOCHY, where the @@$@$ did you learn that?!” …I panicked. I had been found out, what the hell should I say? The PCP that they put in the ACU cover kicked in and I uttered, “Sun Tzus art of war??”.. “I read that book Private, and I never saw anything about bounding in there, when was your first enlistment private?”. They began asking me if I was “CID”? and began calling me CID. I didn’t know it at the time, but CID is the investigative division of the army and apparently they send agents through basic to spy on DS’s. I tried to convince them I had never been in the army before but they did not believe me. So instead, I did whatever I could to fuel this suspicion. I answered questions correctly about how to apply face paint, and made sure to speak as aggressively militarily as possible. “Thanks CID, doosh bag”.

They began to give me an even wider berth. It became a running joke amongst all of the DS’s in the company. “F you CID, snitch.” In blue phase I decided to have some fun and when a DS would be doing something a bit sketchy I would break parade rest and begin speaking into my watch. One day another private jokingly spoke up and told the Drill Sargeant “He’s talking to his watch again.” The DS came over and grabbed my watch, looked me in the eye, and yelled “F you” directly into my watch and made me hold the front leaning rest while I reported all of his activity.

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